On the Road With Eric Keroack; or, What Is To Be Done?

Good morning.  Today is Eric Keroack’s first day running the Office of Population Affairs at the Department of Health and Human Services.  So what, you ask?  Since when do we note the ascension of sub-sub-Cabinet types, people whose jobs are so unimportant that they don’t even require Senate confirmation?

Since our oh-so-bipartisan President decided to take advantage of the absence of Senate oversight to appoint the founding Executive Director of A Woman’s Concern, one of those "crisis pregnancy centers" that tries to frighten women out of exercising their right to secure an abortion by falsely informing them that abortions cause breast cancer and by performing medically unnecessary ultrasounds and then stalling the results until abortion becomes prohibitively difficult or expensive for the client.  Keroack himself promotes the view that having sex with multiple partners makes neurological changes in a woman’s brain that prevent her from forming true love relationships.  Most important, he is opposed to all birth control of any kind.   This is the guy now charged with the Federal responsibility for making contraception, and accurate and complete information about its use, available to all American citizens. 

It’s a good thing the Republicans lost the election; just imagine if they’d won!

But we won; so what are we going to do about this appointment?  My suggestions:

Of questionable legality and propriety but supreme efficacy:

1. Investigate Mr. Keroack’s past.  (Surely there must be female and/or feminist private detectives out there; the Nonprofiteer will pay your retainer.)  Anyone as opposed to birth control as he must have at least one bastard running around.

2. Hack into the Website of A Woman’s Concern.  Make sure that people logging onto the site see a sign, "THIS IS NOT A CLINIC.  These people will tell you abortion causes cancer, which is false, and will require you to have an ultrasound, which is medically unnecessary.  If you’re pregnant and need help, call Planned Parenthood."

3. Follow Mr. Keroack around with a video camera until he calls you a macaca.

Of unimpeachable legality and propriety and possible efficacy:

Other suggestions–especially from those of you in agencies that work with the Office of Affairs–strongly solicited.  And thanks to feminist scholar Anita Bernstein for bringing this to the Nonprofiteer’s attention; as she writes, "Here’s a guy who apparently used to run a nice 501(c)(3) dedicated to violating abortion rights and has now been given the keys to the government!" 

Really: when will the rest of us in the nonprofit sector get ours?


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